fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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