If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
