Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
