do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
