Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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