I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
