Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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