I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Panties = found
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
