That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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