I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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