There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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