I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
