I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
