I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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