all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
