I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
