i love accidental penises.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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