No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
