come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize