Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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