He passed out mid-signature
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
