dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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