Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
sex in a hospital.. check
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
