Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
