I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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