Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
