There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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