i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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