Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
