I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
