Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
