why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
