STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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