susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
