Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
