doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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