Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
