Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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