Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
