Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
