WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
