Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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