but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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