Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
