This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
