The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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