In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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