Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
