he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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