i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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