How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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