My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
