Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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