i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
