nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I don't deserve a penis
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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