Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
