We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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