i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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