remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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