chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize