Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
