No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
