So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
