Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
