if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
