Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
